In Our Own Words

J
Mission

Posted Jan/07

My "WHY" letter,

The best version of me…

Why is something I must have asked myself thousands of times. Why haven't I been successful? Why do I want the surgery? Why am I like this?

Why do I think surgery is the next step? Because I've made every effort to do it on my own and it hasn't worked. When a doctor suggested this as an option I almost fell out of my chair. How is it possible that this is an option for me...? I’m not one of those people.... turns out I am and I’ve decided that’s ok.

Why do I want to loose weight? Aside from the health issues I want to be the best version of me I can be, and right now I’m not that person. I haven’t seen around the corner yet, so I don’t know what that version of me is like but I’m ready to find out. I want to learn how to Kayak, play ball again, and walk onto a volleyball court with out feeling like I don't belong there. I want to stop having to shop at "special" stores that charge twice as much for clothes. I want to stop feeling like everything wrong in my life is because of my weight. I want my internal dialogue to be encouraging rather then disparaging.

It’s not that complicated; eat healthy and exercise. Calories in have to be balanced by calories out. Seems simple enough, so why haven't I been able to make it work. It feels like there is some secret club and I haven’t figured out the secret handshake.

Is it genetics, lack of self-confidence, a screwy thyroid.... the real answer is I don't know. I feel like I’ve made every attempt possible with every good intention possible. I've done TOPS, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, The Zone and the list goes on. I've never crash dieted or taken diet pills. My approach was always to find a healthy plan or program I could live with. There was always some initial success in the first few weeks, but generally at about 3mos things would just stop working and then I would get frustrated and give up.

In recent years I have trained and run in five 10k marathons. Last year I started taking golf lessons and up until October was golfing 2 to 3 times a week. This along with seeing a personal trainer twice a week and for a few months was also going to aerobics twice a week. Seems to me most people could loose weight doing all of that. There just isn't anymore time or money that I can commit.

Looking back at my childhood I was an average size kid. The difference between my peers and me is I was sturdy and solid or “big boned”. However back then being the "big" girl would turn out to have lasting effects both physically and emotionally. The girls in my class were all very slight and petite. Even with my family, my sister was less then 100lbs when she graduated and my mom 94lbs on her wedding day, and on my father’s side of the family the opposite every single woman is obese. I didn’t fit anywhere.

I think not having anybody my age or a significant role model I could relate to in terms of self-image played a major role in the way I viewed myself. I was into sports right thru junior high. I ran track, played basketball, and softball until I was about 13. Through high school I was on the volleyball team right up until I graduated. Up until I was about 15 I was just very curvy and had developed a lot faster and sooner then the other girls. Looking back I didn't start putting on weight until about the age of 15 or so. I stopped taking PE in grade 10. By this point I didn't have a lot of self esteem and felt very self-conscious of my body. I think a distorted body image contributed to eating for comfort and putting on the weight was a way to be invisible rather then dealing with my body. Seemed like suddenly I had become the “big” girl, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I met another girl waiting for surgery and we talked about reasons why we wanted surgery. Her answer was because she was lazy; she had made no attempts to be healthy with exercise or diet. Internally I was screaming, I’m not like you, I’ve done all the right things, and no one could ever call me lazy. I’m not good at asking for help, nor am I looking for validation. I always preferred to rely on myself, and well that clearly isn't working so I’m asking for help now. Not for a free ride or a quick fix, but for help to change my life in ways I haven’t been able to on my own.

I’ve read that less then 5% of people who make it to their target weight by using diet and exercise are able to keep the weight off for more than a year. Less then 5%!!!!!!!! So surgery becomes a tool, something to help me achieve my goals, give me some freedom to discover me, the real me that I haven't met yet, but is going to be the best version of me.