My name is J and I live in Surrey, B.C. I am 35 years old and I am tired of being sick and tired all the time. I was the biggest kid on my block growing up and was teased constantly. I was the first girl in our elementary school to get boobs in grade 5. I dealt with very low self-esteem in high school by being the loudmouth and the funny fat girl. Music/band was my only out.

I have tried diet after diet and even managed to do phen/fen which may have led to my biggest co-morbidity, contracting cardiomyopathy about three years ago now. On top of that I have sleep apnea, sciatica, asthma, bad knees and ankles and lots of extra skin that causes many infections. I have a handicapped placard for my car because I would die walking from the back of the parking lot to the store.

I bought a house with a flight of stairs to make myself work more and that isn’t helping. I am always tired and huffing! I love my job and my employer has never been difficult about my size. I am just very uncomfortable. I cannot fly properly; I always am so embarrassed to have to ask for the seat belt extension. I was mortified the first time I had to do that.

The main reason why I want to do this of course is to extend my life and reduce the stress on my already taxed cardiovascular system. But there is a hidden agenda here; I am dying to have children. And I literally would die if I became pregnant now. I would have to go off all my heart meds to continue being pregnant and that wouldn’t help my heart. I would die during birth or the baby would. What a choice! I desperately want a child and I want to live. I don’t want to live like this any more. Thank God for extended health or we would be bankrupt with all my heart meds. Think of all the money I can save the free world by being off my meds! Thanks for listening to me vent.