In Our Own Words

B
Mission

Posted Jan/07

My "WHY" letter,

Wondering Why

Wonder how I got to were I am today.. Good Question. I am 59 years old, but young at heart. I was not always over weight.. I was always active in sports, fishing, hunting etc. I ate good and played hard.. As the age increased so did the weight.. Seemed to be a little harder each time to get rid of it .. But I managed to work it off.. But as time went by, it became harder and harder to lose.. The Diets started, And I been on pretty well all of them. Diet, lose weight,,, AND lose the amount you wanted. AND go back to your old eating habits.. Gain back what you lost plus 5#'s.. Back on the diet, lose weight etc etc etc.. Last diet I was really on was The " ATKINS".. I lost 65 #'s on that adventure. Guess what.. I found it again, plus some I had lost before.. .


A few diets I have been on were cabbage diets, banana diet, weight watchers, cut back on the bread and potatoes i have been hypnotized, have had Acupuncture done, back to Weight Watchers etc etc. I wanted to be normal and feel good inside and look good outside..

Well I saw my family Dr. and he set up an appointment for me to See Dr. Amson. I am a Trucker and i am on the road a lot.. Dr. Amson would and does make suggestions on what we should do to try and help ourselves. And I would try and try and try.. I would go back to see him and would have gained some weight. AND I would leave there determined to do better..

I would go back and YES gained weight again and leave there and Be more determined to do better.. AND again I would gain just a little more.. Now I am not making excuses by any means, Yes my Job does limit me to what I can do on the road.. BUT I can have control of what I eat while I am on the road.. AND I would do well for a cple days and fall off the wagon.. AND yes I also smoked...But I quit Smoking Dec 31/06.. Seemed pointless to smoke to try and keep weight off AND still gain weight..

I saw Dr Amson yesterday, And it was hard to control myself. " You see MEN don't cry " Do They? Well i got on the Scale there and I gained more weight.. Now again I had QUIT smoking so it is to be expected.. I have to make changes and I will.. AND that is the 1st step..

I am sick of the way I look, sick of how I feel about myself, Tired of the physical pain in my feet the mental anguish of seeing people stare at you like you're some sort of freak. I hate the apron I have.. Tired of the tears.. Tired of my feet swelling up, my lower legs ballooning, I am on medication for circulation problems.. I SO WISHED I COULD BLAME SOME ONE.. But I can't blame no one but me. I am getting so as I don't want to go out anymore, i just stay and chat to people on line.. I go out to work, BUT I can hide there for the most part...How sad.

Dr. Amson can do the operation to assist me in losing the weight, BUT the rest is up to me. I realize that.. I want to be able to grow old with my wife. I want to watch my grand children grow up. I will do what has to be done.. He has faith in me and for that I am grateful..

B